Kink-Y Consent in sex-positive parties
Understanding Enthusiastic Consent in Kinky Contexts
What is Consent?
Consent is an informed, enthusiastic, and ongoing agreement to participate in any activity. In kink, this becomes even more important due to the intense nature of many activities. Before attending any event, we strongly recommend reviewing our event guidelines to understand the expectations and standards our community upholds.
Key Principles: Consent must be informed (understanding what you're agreeing to), enthusiastic (genuine desire to participate), ongoing (can be withdrawn at any time), and specific (consent to one activity doesn't mean consent to all).
🎬 You Don't Know What Consent Is
This provocative title highlights how difficult it is to pay attention to all those little details that could make people uncomfortable and could be perceived as a violation of consent. Those boundaries are different for everyone, so sensitivity is the key for respectful interaction.
Part 1
Part 2
🗣️ Communication & Negotiation
Effective communication is essential for consensual experiences. Our Telegram community guidelines emphasize these same principles of respectful communication that apply both online and at events.
Before Play
- Discuss boundaries, limits, and desires openly
- Share relevant health information
- Establish safe words and check-in methods
- Clarify expectations and goals
- Discuss aftercare needs
During Play
- Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues
- Check in regularly, especially during intense scenes
- Honor safe words immediately
- Adjust or stop if someone seems uncomfortable
- Maintain open communication
- Non-verbal signals: Three quick taps = stop, hand signals, dropping held items = stop, humming = check in
After Play
- Provide agreed-upon aftercare
- Check in about the experience
- Discuss what worked and what didn't
- Respect processing time and space
- Follow up if appropriate
Suggested Safe Words
RED = Stop immediately
YELLOW = Slow down, check in
GREEN = All good, continue
🔍 Practical Tips for Consensual Interactions
🌸 Cultivate Sensitivity • 🎯 Redefine Your Goals • 👐 Touch and Personal Space • 🛑 Recognize Discomfort Signs • 👀 Read the Room • 🚫 Avoid Assumptions
🧠 Assess Mental and Awareness State • 🧘 Maintain Control and Awareness • ✋ Honor Withdrawn Consent • 🙏 Express Gratitude for Boundaries • 📝 Negotiate Play Boundaries • 🔄 Continuous Check-ins • 🗣️ Safe Words
🚦 Reading Consent Signals
Possible Signs of YES
- "Yes please!"
- "Don't stop! Right there!"
- Big smiles and positive face expressions
- Leaning closer
- Mirroring actions or touch
- Nods of approval
- Open body language
- Touches back / initiates touch
- Maintaining eye contact
Spoken "yes" might actually mean "no" when it's not accompanied by positive body language. Some people find it difficult to say "no" outright. Being respectful means recognizing these signs.
Signs of NO
- "I'm not sure"
- "I need more time"
- "I'm a bit tired"
- "I'd like a break/drink"
- Arms crossed/defensive posture
- Stepping back/moving away
- Avoiding eye contact
- "Let's take it slow"
- Tension, signs of discomfort
- Refusing touch
Spoken "yes" might actually mean "no" when it's not accompanied by positive body language. Some people find it difficult to say "no" outright. Being respectful means recognizing these signs.
🛠️ Handling Non-Consensual Behaviors
💪 Build Confidence and Communication Skills • 🌟 Stay Resilient • 👥 Remember, You're Not Alone • 🧠 Be Aware, Not Scared • 📞 Contact Host Immediately, Don't Wait Until the Next Day
Enhance your understanding and create safer, more respectful interactions at sex-positive parties.
Community Support & Safety
Hosts are Always Available: Our hosts are always available and look after everyone. If you are unsure of something, contact us immediately.
Collective Responsibility: We as a community have a collective responsibility, so we look after each other. If something doesn't directly involve you but feels off, act immediately and contact the hosts. This reflects our community values of creating safer, inclusive spaces where everyone feels supported.
Awareness Teams: Events in bigger venues where hosts cannot easily check on everyone always have an awareness team dedicated to maintaining safety and support.
Learning and Growing
Remember: Learning about consent is an ongoing process. It's okay to make mistakes as long as you're committed to learning and improving.
Need help or have questions? Our community is here to support your journey in understanding and practicing enthusiastic consent.