Meet Nixie: Dating, Friendship and Community Through Telegram
We often describe Nixie as a dating app. It is an easy starting point: there are profiles, crushes, ways to express interest and opportunities to meet someone.
But Nixie grew out of something broader. It brings together what we have been building and experiencing through Kink-Y over the past four years: conversations, friendships, parties, workshops, shared experiences and the familiarity that develops when people keep showing up.
It runs inside Telegram, connecting the place where our community talks with the occasions when we meet. Dating is part of that life, alongside making friends, organising a gathering or getting to know the people around you.
Nixie at a glance
If you are in a hurry, here is how Nixie’s approach compares with a typical swipe-based dating experience. Other platforms vary, and some also offer events or community features. The difference we are describing is how these elements come together within Nixie.
| What you want to do | Typical swipe-based dating experience | Nixie’s approach |
|---|---|---|
| Discover people | Discovery centres on profiles, preferences and matching. | Explore profiles through browsing and swiping, group conversations, the feed and shared events. |
| Get to know someone in a group | You usually get to know someone through their profile and a private conversation. | Shared Telegram discussions offer opportunities to notice someone’s humour, views and interactions with others. |
| Meet first and reconnect later | The usual starting point is discovering someone online before meeting. | Meet at a gathering first, then find participants who have chosen to make their attendance visible. |
| Stay connected without dating | Interaction is primarily organised around potential dates or matches. | Follow people, share updates and build friendships as well as explore attraction. |
| Ask to start a conversation | Contact may depend on a match or the platform’s messaging rules. | Send a written DM request that the recipient can accept or decline. Free accounts receive a daily allowance. |
| Understand someone’s community connections | Your impression often rests on a profile and one-to-one messages. | Verification, registration date, friendships, visible participation and Trust signals add context. |
| Find and book events | Arranging a date is central; event discovery and ticketing vary by platform. | Discover events, buy tickets and connect with visible participants before or after attending. |
| Organise a smaller gathering | Plans are often arranged through messages or another service. | Create dates and private parties for up to 25 people, with invitations or applications. |
| Keep up with people and activities | Returning to the app often means browsing profiles or checking messages. | A feed brings together posts, pictures, new events and permitted activity from people you follow. |
| Control your visibility | Privacy options vary by platform and subscription. | Control event visibility and contact preferences, with privacy choices also applying to the feed. Additional controls are available with Plus. |
| Continue the conversation | You may move from the dating app to a separate messenger. | Nixie runs inside Telegram, where the community already talks. |
| Publish larger events as an organiser | This may require a separate event or ticketing platform. | Expanded organiser tools are planned for the end of October 2026. |
To understand why Nixie works this way, it helps to go back to a much simpler beginning.
It started with booking a party
At first, we needed a practical way for people to apply to our parties, for us to accept their applications, and then to send them the instructions they needed.
A Telegram bot helped us manage that process. We added verification, and eventually the possibility of creating a profile.
Those early profiles lived entirely inside the chat. You navigated through text and buttons, answering questions and choosing what to do next. It was quite nerdy, and there was something satisfying about making it all work within a conversation. But profiles weren’t widely used at first.
We kept developing it. Nearby profiles, DM requests and crushes gave people more ways to discover each other and express interest. The bot gradually became useful for more than the next party.
After a couple of years, a few hundred people were using it daily to connect, book events or get verified. What had started as an organisational tool had become part of the community’s everyday life.
That was when I discovered Telegram mini apps: web applications that open inside Telegram and work together with a bot. We could give people a visual interface, with profiles and features they could explore more naturally, while keeping the connection to the group.
That is how Nixie took its current form.
That’s the real story. For a more playful version, we also imagined Nixie coming to life in a laboratory. Our AI-created short film gives it a fictional origin of its own. Watch Nixie’s origin story.
Built with the people who use it
Nixie is developed by Kink-Y admins who are active in the group and present at munches, workshops and parties.
That makes feedback a regular part of the process. People tell us what confused them, bring us lists of bugs, suggest improvements or explain a feature they wish existed. Sometimes those conversations happen in Telegram. Sometimes they happen over a drink at a munch.
We can’t implement every request, but those conversations influence what we build and what we improve next. We use Nixie alongside everyone else, so we also experience the things that work—and the things that still need attention.
This is how the original bot grew, and it remains how we want Nixie to develop: through practical needs and ideas from the community.
Built around the way we already meet
As the app developed, we followed a pattern that already existed within Kink-Y.
People would notice each other in a group conversation, meet at a munch, recognise a familiar face at a party or continue talking after a workshop. Online interaction helped us get in touch and stay in touch. Much of the sense of community grew through spending time together.
Nixie brings those parts closer together.
You can discover someone through a profile and arrange to meet. You can also meet first and reconnect afterwards. Or you might become familiar with someone over weeks of group conversations before either of you thinks about a date.
A conversation can come before a profile
Someone makes a joke that lands. They share a perspective you relate to, ask a thoughtful question or respond to another person with care.
Conversations in the Kink-Y Telegram group can reveal aspects of personality that are difficult to capture in a profile: humour, curiosity, how someone handles disagreement or how they treat people they aren’t trying to impress.
You might explore their Nixie profile and start following them. When you later meet at a munch, you already have something to talk about.
It is still only part of the picture. But it gives a connection room to develop before either person has to decide what it might become.
Sometimes you meet first
You spend part of an evening talking to someone, then go home wishing you had exchanged contacts. Or you enjoy meeting a few people and would simply like to see them again.
Nixie connects events with profiles, offering a way to find other participants who have chosen to make their attendance visible and express an interest in staying in touch.
That interest might become a date. It might become a friendship, an invitation to another event or a conversation that continues in the group.
All of those outcomes belong here.
Different ways to express interest
Not every connection begins with the same intention. Nixie offers several ways to take a first step, with different meanings.
You can browse and swipe through profiles, follow someone, request friendship, express a crush or ask for a date. You don’t have to treat every interesting person as a potential match.
Following someone and keeping in touch
Following is a way to stay connected with what someone shares.
Nixie’s feed brings together posts, new pictures, newly available events and activity from people you follow. Depending on their privacy settings, that can include joining an event or following other people.
It gives profiles a life beyond the first introduction. You can discover what someone is thinking, sharing or planning over time.
Friendship means knowing each other
Friendship has a more specific meaning in Nixie: it represents a real connection.
Because friendships help provide community context, we ask members to reserve requests for people they actually know well enough to call friends. Collecting connections from strangers would make that signal less useful for everyone.
Sending friendship requests to people you don’t know well can affect the internal score Nixie uses to assess community participation. That score is currently not displayed publicly.
You can follow someone out of curiosity. Friendship is intended to say something more about the connection you already have.
Crushes and DM requests
Crushes offer a playful way to express attraction. With a free account, you discover a crush when you both crush on each other—a mutual match. Nixie Plus members, through the Kink-Y Pass, can also see incoming crushes without first reciprocating.
A DM request is more direct: you write why you would like to chat, and the other person can accept or decline.
DM requests were one of the features we introduced early on because they addressed a practical community need. Sharing a group with someone shouldn’t automatically mean assuming they welcome a private approach.
Free accounts can send two crushes and two DM requests per day. Nixie Plus increases each allowance to four. Members can also use their privacy settings to control whether they want to receive these approaches.
The purpose of these options is to make your intention easier to communicate, while giving the other person room to choose. And because Nixie works through Telegram, the conversation can continue in the messenger our community already uses.
Verification is the beginning
Before interacting with other members, everyone needs to complete verification. Unverified accounts can see very little.
The process includes eight questions about the community rules published on our website, followed by a selfie with a handwritten message on paper and a requested gesture.
This helps us check that people have engaged with the rules and makes obvious fake accounts harder to create. It is the first step in joining, rather than a guarantee of someone’s behaviour.
Community context develops afterwards: through participation, events, friendships and interactions with other people. These signals contribute to Nixie’s internal assessment and can unlock further possibilities as someone becomes involved.
A profile with community context
A profile tells you what someone chooses to say about themselves. Within a community, you may also want to understand how that person participates and how they are connected to others.
Nixie profiles can show registration date, friendships, Trust signals and attended events where the member has chosen to make their attendance visible. Together, these details offer more context than a photograph and a self-description alone.
For us, this matters particularly in a sex-positive community, where decisions about meeting, sharing personal information or exploring intimacy can carry considerable weight.
These signals need to be read with care. Attending many events or knowing many people does not automatically make someone trustworthy, and being new does not make someone untrustworthy.
What the context can offer is more information on which to base your own judgement. It can help you decide what to ask, how quickly to proceed and whether you feel comfortable making contact.
This is one of the limitations I feel most strongly in dating experiences built mainly around isolated, one-to-one encounters. You see a profile and a private conversation, but often have little sense of how that person relates to a wider social world.
What the Trust button means
Trust is a specific signal within Nixie.
By giving it, a member indicates that they have shared a space or interaction with someone in an intimate situation, and that the person’s behaviour felt safe to them.
It reflects the giver’s experience. It is not a general certification of the recipient.
Giving Trust is anonymous to the recipient and reversible. No notification is sent, and the recipient cannot see who gave it. Members can withdraw it if their judgement changes.
Alongside participation and real connections, this offers another piece of context for someone viewing a profile.
Choosing what other people can see
Community context involves personal information, so members need control over how they appear and how others approach them.
Nixie includes granular privacy settings. You can choose whether to appear among an event’s participants, whether to receive crushes or DM requests, and whether following you should require friendship.
Your privacy settings also apply to the feed. If you choose to hide your attendance at an event, that activity will not appear there either.
Some additional controls are part of Nixie Plus, including anonymous browsing, hiding your age and making the full profile visible only to friends.
A friends-only profile still shows other members a limited header with your main picture, name and stats. It restricts access to the rest of the profile; it does not make your presence completely invisible.
These choices let people participate with different levels of openness. Being part of a community doesn’t mean everyone wants the same visibility.
Events are part of the connection
Events were the reason the original bot existed, and they remain central to Nixie.
You can discover events, buy tickets and explore the profiles of participants who have made themselves visible. The experience can begin before you arrive and continue after you leave.
There is also room for smaller plans. Members can already create dates and small private parties for up to 25 people, inviting others or opening a listing for applications.
That gives people a way to take an active role in community life. You can join something already organised or bring people together yourself.
The value of a gathering extends beyond whether you meet a potential partner. You might have a good conversation, learn something at a workshop or leave with a few more familiar faces for next time.
When time is limited, an evening that brings several of those possibilities together can be worth a great deal.
Coming by the end of October: Nixie for organisers
We plan to release Nixie’s expanded organiser tools by the end of October 2026, allowing other organisers to publish events and connect their communities with people using Nixie.
These events will appear in the dedicated events section, separate from dates and small private gatherings. The tools will remove the current 25-person limit for these organiser events and add more detailed controls, notification messages and event-flyer sharing in the group.
This extends the event system we already use within Kink-Y to other organisers, giving their gatherings a place within Nixie’s wider community.
For organisers, ticket sales and participant connections become part of the same experience. A booking can be the beginning of someone’s involvement, with opportunities to get to know people and return.
Most of Nixie is free
Creating connections should remain accessible. Most of Nixie is free, including the basic ways to discover people, express interest and take part in community life.
For people who want additional features, Nixie Plus is currently included in the Kink-Y Pass.
Plus includes:
- More ways to connect: see who has crushed on you, view your profile visitors and send four crushes and four DM requests daily instead of two.
- More date options: keep three date listings open at once, use anonymous or “Now” dates, choose which genders can apply and create invite-only dates for selected friends, followers or circles. Four visibility packages are included as a welcome gift.
- More discovery tools: last-seen information and nearby filters for orientation, vibes, pictures and recent activity.
- Additional privacy: hide your age, browse anonymously or restrict the full profile to friends.
- Expanded Nudes/XXX posting: four posts per day, with GIFs and videos up to 60 seconds.
- Pass Lounge access: the members’ topic in our Telegram group, where only verified Pass members can post.
- Free cashouts: withdraw your wallet balance without the cashout fee.
The Pass also includes discounts on events and participating partners’ activities and services, from clothing stores and photographers to coaches and food.
New features are added as Nixie develops. The Pass page contains the current benefits and details.
Community care includes difficult conversations
Features and verification are only part of maintaining a community. How we respond when something goes wrong matters too.
Kink-Y admins review reports individually and, where appropriate, speak with the people involved. Our expectations include respect, inclusivity, no shaming and a low-pressure approach to interacting with others.
Responses can include a conversation or warning, a temporary ban or permanent removal, depending on the case.
Education matters to us. Where possible, we want people to understand why their behaviour caused a problem and what needs to change. At the same time, protecting the community can require removing someone.
Being active in the group and present at events means this work is part of our ongoing relationship with the community.
A Swiss Army knife for community life
“Dating app” is useful shorthand, but I increasingly think of Nixie as a Swiss Army knife for Berlin’s sex-positive community.
Profiles, friendships, contact requests, a feed, events and tickets address different needs within the same social life. Together, they give people more ways to express themselves, participate and stay connected.
That is also the direction we want to keep developing. The original bot grew because we encountered practical needs within Kink-Y. Nixie will continue to evolve through that same relationship with the people using it.
You can use Nixie without belonging to the Kink-Y Telegram group. We encourage you to join because the conversations and gatherings add much of the context described here. If joining the group is your starting point, getting set up through Nixie is also the first step. You can find out more on our Telegram community page.
Our experience in Kink-Y is where this began. Opening more possibilities to other organisers and communities is part of where it goes next.
We want the app to support the things people choose to build together, including connections that don’t fit neatly into a dating category.
How to get started
Nixie is a mini app inside Telegram, so you don’t need to install a separate dating app.
Start a chat with @kinkyNixieBot, open Nixie and follow the steps to create your profile and complete verification. You can also learn more at meetonnixie.app.
Once verified, your first step can reflect what brought you here: exploring profiles, finding an event, following someone whose posts interest you or reconnecting with a person you have already met.
Nixie began with a booking process. It grew because people wanted more ways to connect with the community around those bookings.
That remains the reason to keep building it: to help a conversation become a meeting, a meeting become a friendship, and familiar faces become part of your life.